


Hey, Baby

by neversaydie



Series: cock it and pull it [30]
Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Closeted Character, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Post episode 74, Pre-Canon, sammy has trouble with feelings, shotgun days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 09:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14399277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neversaydie/pseuds/neversaydie
Summary: Jack proposes… constantly.Sammy always takes it as a joke, because it's not like they could get married if they really wanted to - it's not even legal yet after the whole Prop 8 fiasco. It's just a bit, Jack casually proposing a couple of times a week while they're doing nothing in particular, to the point where Sammy starts to hear it as an extra special 'I love you'.Sammy doesn't say a lot of 'I love yous', special or not.[in which Sammy and Jack have very different ways of expressing affection.]





	Hey, Baby

Jack proposes… constantly.

Sammy always takes it as a joke, because it's not like they could get married if they really wanted to - it's not even legal yet after the whole Prop 8 fiasco. It's just a bit, Jack casually proposing a couple of times a week while they're doing nothing in particular, to the point where Sammy starts to hear it as an extra special 'I love you'.

Jack sees the early morning sun catch Sammy a certain way as he gets out of bed and says 'marry me', inspiring a sleepy grunt and a morning-breath kiss and maybe a blush, if he has the energy. Jack hears Sammy hum softly to himself as he makes lunch and starts singing that dumb Bruno Mars 'I think I wanna marry you' song even louder, until his boyfriend crams a slice of salami into his mouth just to shut him up. Sammy says something stupid and sarcastic and Jack smacks him on the shoulder and kisses him on the cheek and says 'I can't believe I'm gonna marry your dumb ass'.

Sammy doesn't say a lot of 'I love yous', special or not. He has his own ways of showing Jack he cares (he'll never pass a fruit stand without bringing home strawberries, he does the vacuuming when Jack's out of the house because the noise gives him a headache, he always has coffee on the nightstand to coax Jack grudgingly out of sleep), but the words themselves often get stuck in his throat. He knows it's just something he's internalised - he didn't come from a family of huggers or expressers of any emotion at all, really - but it still leaves him offering up a lame 'you too' instead of saying how he really feels.

It frustrates him because he does love Jack, fiercely. They've been through so much together, fought tooth and nail and clawed out this life they've built for themselves from the ground up. Every time they've broken up, called it a day because things were just too hard, it only served to remind them that things are better together. Even when they're struggling, even when they're fighting, life just doesn't  _ work  _ if they're not half of that whole. 

Except it's not about being half, not really. Neither of them is lacking and they could function as separate units, if they had to, but the prospect of doing so is… just not an option. Sammy knew Jack felt the same when he saw the abject fear in his eyes after Austin, when he grabbed Sammy's fever-hot face in the emergency room and told him he wasn't allowed to fucking leave him - not for the show, not for Shotgun, not for anything. 

Jack's casual proposals and his sing-song 'I love you's and ability to peck Sammy on the cheek in the backyard like it doesn't matter if the neighbours see - they weave into the fabric of Sammy's life and make him feel loved, even when he's broken or failing or not where he should be. Even though he knows, deep down in his soul, that he doesn't deserve half the love Jack pours onto him… he almost accepts that he does. Sammy feels like a good person when Jack smiles at him, which he'd thought was impossible.

Sammy sits on this torrent of words all the time - he wants to tell Jack he's a miracle, that he's so special and beautiful it's hard to look at him sometimes for how bright he's shining. He wants to tell Jack how gorgeous he is when he's fumbling stupidly with the microwave, or arguing with the phone company, or drooling in his sleep on the couch because he stayed up late working on a project. He wants to tell Jack how sometimes he looks across the studio and forgets what he was going to say because his chest is suddenly tight at just the sight of him. About how he wakes up and sees his boyfriend with pillow creases on his face and hazy eyes and wants to stop the whole world, let it just be the two of them for a while. 

But Sammy  _ can't  _ tell him any of those things, because a simple 'I love you' is beyond him. He tries to get it out casually, tries to psych himself up to say it via text or when Jack's half asleep, tries to ease the pressure on seeing the reaction. And sometimes he manages, blurts out a rushed 'love ya' before he leaves the house or texts Jack a string of heart emojis out of the blue, but sometimes he gets as far as a 'hey' and then ends up gawping like a fish while Jack waits expectantly for the rest of a sentence that never comes. Sammy can't always give Jack the love he deserves, and that eats at him as much as the rest of his damaged bullshit does.

And then one not-so-special day, they're driving to work and Jack is sweating in the LA traffic and cussing out other drivers and the answer hits Sammy like a sledgehammer. Maybe if those three little words are beyond him, if their weight is too much to heave out of his cracked patchwork heart on a regular basis, then perhaps he can tell Jack how he feels with three other little words instead. 

It's a shocking, soothing moment of clarity which has him staring at his boyfriend all the way to the station, even when Jack notices and laughs at him for being weird. Sammy can hear his pulse in his ears but it's not panic, it's not fear, it's the joyful teeter on the precipice of something new - something good. 

"Hey," Sammy reaches over and stops Jack before they get out of the car, heart in his throat as Jack raises an eyebrow, mildly confused. They've got stuff to do, but Sammy can't wait to say this any longer. "Marry me, someday?"

"Sure, babe," Jack laughs a little, but then his eyes widen when he registers the earnest look on Sammy's face and he goes still. "Wait, for real?"

"For real," Sammy swallows hard, mouth suddenly dry as he takes Jack's hand. His own is steady, for once, as he forces his tied tongue awkwardly around the words he  _ can  _ manage. "You're it, for me. Forever. I'd… I'd like to make that official, one day. If you do."

"Of course!" Jack flings himself forward and kisses Sammy - an inelegant knock of teeth and coffee breath and awkward angles because they're sitting in a goddamn car, somehow perfectly  _ them _ regardless. "Are you sure about this? You-"

"I love you," and this time it comes out easy, without any effort at all. "I'm sure."

This time Sammy is the one who leans in to kiss his fiance, and he doesn't give a shit who sees.


End file.
